Get my heart rate all up and then...

I got a job offer today! This guy who works for a Technology consulting firm in Arkansas called me up because he saw my resume on Monster.com, but he didn't realize I was still in college. So I called him back and talked to him for a couple of minutes. I told him I was still in school but would be graduating in August. He asked if I was looking to stay in the area, but of course I'm not, so I told him that I was looking to be in Houston. He said they just opened their Houston office! Yeah, baby! So he said he would hang onto my resume and told me to give him a call later this year and we'll talk then. I was like, yes!!

He also told me that the leaders in the IT and computer fields are looking for people who can program in C#... I'm taking a class in C# for game programming right now, and will be gathering books on this. He told me if I could, to get as much experience in C# as possible. This makes me feel so much better about my prospects of a job after graduation.

I just polished up my resume last night and have been browsing my Monster search agents. I have quite a few job postings saved and can't wait to start the hunt. It won't be easy but I can take the rejections with the good news. It's a bit scary... hell, I'm scared spitless. I've never searched for a job in this field before, at least not in the real world, but I have my experience as a student technical consultant to fall back on. Maybe that will be good to sway employers. I mean it's more than three years experience, so that's got to count for something.

I'm so stoked about that phone call!!

Relief is bittersweet...

I talked to my Mom yesterday and she told me my stepdad's MRI on Tuesday came back clean. No sign of growth. It was just a bad imbalance of his medication. Which is great news, but... it's not over. Mom says she knows it will eventually come back and I hate to think that but I know it too. The doctors say he's not out of the woods... and probably never will be. We keep praying and hoping. It's kind of something that you tuck into the deepest, darkest corner of your mind and hope to God that it never sees the light of day again. It makes me feel so helpless... what do you do when you can't just take the wrong out and throw it away? It hurts my heart...
I wish sometimes that I could just reach into his brain and make all of the bad cells just disappear. He could go back to normal, no more pain, no more confusion, and Mom would still have the person she loves and married. If I could just take it away...
Someone once told me, "We are but a ripple upon the surface." And I remember thinking, What surface? The surface of what? I think now it's the surface of life. We go through life making choices and sometimes having them made for us, never completely realizing, when it comes down to elementals, we have no control. We have no control over when we will die, or what tragic things happen or don't happen to us. My stepdad didn't want this, had never expected this, but it's there, big as life. My Mom didn't want to have this kind of heartbreak and turmoil, she didn't ask for it... but there it is. I know life isn't fair... it's a ruthless damn SOB that doesn't take no for an answer. It's just sometimes... it's hard to stomach. I want to be a wave, dammit, not just a ripple... but I guess life's pool is just too big to be a wave. I want my stepdad to be a wave, I don't want this silent ruthless cancer leeching the life out of him. There, though, is the bone of contention... it doesn't matter what I want. Elementals decide, not us. Life decides, not us. I hope, though, that we can make the ripple a little bigger if we try hard enough. God, I hope...

And then reality steps in...

Ah, well, the holidays are over, the new year is here. Time for that New Year's resolution to kick into high gear and make me skinny! Yeah right...

Phoenix was hot...80 degrees on Christmas Day! And I took long sleeved shirts with me. Wish I had packed shorts, I would have been fine. The break wasn't long enough though. Just another weekend would have made me happy.

Christmas was fun. I got to see all of my family and the little cousins. They are so cute! Partied one night with my older cousin, took flowers to my grandparents' grave, oh and watched the ball drop in Times Square...on the TV of course. All in all it was a great holiday, even with my eldest cousin getting yelled at by her Mom.

There is the screaming uncertainty of my stepdad's condition however. He goes for another MRI on the 17th or 19th.

School starts again on the 9th. I still have to get my textbooks for the semester. Ugg, dealing with the bookstore employees, it's like having jock itch. Half the time they can't even get the books right. Then I get my change check on the 19th! Cha-ching! Brand new HDTV sitting in my livingroom! Can't wait.

It was a great end to an old year and a great beginning to a new year... reality is just the thin appearance of sanity.