Friday August 10, 2007
Well, nothing in life is ever easy and that includes being a Flight Controller in the Mission Control Center. It's Friday and in the months that I've been working as a flight controller for OCA I can remember only one Friday were nothing went wrong, nothing broke, and we had a very smooth shift. Today was not that one. Endeavour launched Wednesday and today is Flight Day 2 which means today is Imagery Day. Imagery Day is a high intensity day at the MCC and here's why.
Since the Columbia tragedy in 2003, NASA has implemented new security measures to check the integrity of the shuttle's heat shields once it reaches orbit. This involves the station crew members taking photos of the belly of the shuttle as it performs an impressive back flip in space. As you can guess the engineers, specialists, and flight controllers on the ground want to see the imagery as soon as the crew has transferred the photos to the computers on board the station.
Enter OCA.
OCA on the station side of the house downlinks these photos using the comm. available over the next couple of hours. There is a pressure to get these photos down and get them dispersed so the ground specialists can look them over and decide if there is a need for repairs, or in the worse case scenerio, send an emergency shuttle crew to space.
That's all fine and well. I knew going into work today it was Imagery Day and I was ready for it! I had everything planned out and knew exactly what I was going to do to be as efficient as I could to get the job done...that's just a standard in the space industry. That was all fine and well...until we lost our comm. link for unknown reasons two and a half hours before the imagery activities were to begin.
Immediately, I pulled out troubleshooting guides and began contacting ground specialists to work the problem. I ran through all of my troubleshooting procedures and the ground specialists ran through their troubleshooting procedures. No luck. Ground specialists had the crew perform some troubleshooting steps also. No luck. The blood pressure of ground specialists, back room engineers and flight controllers began to rise. There didn't seem to be a cause and there was no solution in the near future and it was now 45 minutes before photos were to be taken. A headache began to pound behind my eyeballs. My shoulders tightened, my muscles tensed, and my stress level rose to seven. The shuttle OCA officers were notified they may have to downlink the photos. Not good because the shuttle has much less comm. coverage than the station.
But miraculously the situation began to improve just in time. Our comm. link became stable again, the photos were taken, and OCA was able to begin the downlink on time. Stress levels and blood pressure numbers plummeted down to what passes for normal in the space industry.
The thing is, this sort of thing happens all the time at the MCC. There are thousands of specialists, engineers, and others who take on the challenges that present themselves everyday in the space industry and come out shining examples of what the right stuff is. They have dedication, integrity, and passion about what they do, myself included. There is nothing that will encourage the desire of a person to do their best than to know that a decision they make can mean the difference between life and death. Not everyday, or very often matter of fact, presents a challenge that could mean the cost of life, but no matter what the challenge each person in the MCC gives their all to meet that challenge and ensure that no loss is incurred by anyone. That dedication does not stop in Houston, either. KSC, Marshall, and all of the other centers that make up NASA have the same dedication, integrity, and passion for their work. Every person that works in the MCC, whether it be for a shuttle mission or the day to day operations of the space station, is a link in the chain of strength to hold back the chaos of space exploration. I don't know of any other group of people who truly care about what they do at their job and that makes me feel honored and very proud to work among that group. Truly the best of the best...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Passport to Moscow, Russia
Friday June 29, 2007
I remember the day my boss asked me if I wanted to travel to Moscow...I had walked into our secretary's office for one thing or another and he walked out of his office and said, "You want to go to Moscow?" I turned with an eyebrow raised and asked, "For how long?" "About two weeks," came the reply. I rolled the idea around in my head, thinking about what I would do with our german shepard and who would watch the house. A little hesitantly I said, "I would love to, but let me check with my husband and I'll let you know for sure." Inside I was like, Moscow...wow. Why do they want me to go? I'm still pretty new around here. Moscow!! Oh my God, I've never been outside the US! What am I gonna do? What the hell do I need to travel outside the US?! So after I calmed down a bit, I called my husband and told him the story. He said, "Go! I can't believe you're hesitating!" "But what about the dog and the house? You're trucking!" I said. "Don't worry about it...I'll take care of it. You just go and don't let this opportunity pass you by," he said. So, I went back to my boss and said, "I'm in! Now what do I have to do?"
Well, I already had a passport...so all I needed was the Visa and some other paperwork. A couple of weeks later all the paperwork was done, I had my plane tickets, and my bags packed. On June 1st I boarded a Boeing 757 jet destined for Moscow, Russia via Atlanta, Georgia. After about 20 hours of travel I landed at the Sheretmeyvo Airport in Moscow and was herded through Customs and the passport check. After picking up our luggage my co-travelers and I loaded up in a van and headed for our hotel that would serve as home for the next fourteen days. As soon as we arrive at the hotel and meet up with the other NASA folks who are already there, everyone starts screaming they want to go to Red Square. We haven't even checked in yet and our bags are still sitting in the lobby. But later that evening, we all trek down to Red Square and then later we have dinner. We, all of us, ate out every night we were there! It was really great. I had Russian, Georgian, Italian, and so many other types of food I couldn't tell you how many.
The second night we were there, we went to a ballet with the Russian planners. My first ballet and it was quite interesting. A modern version of Cinderella.
I had a really good time and was able to get some site seeing done in between working. Red Square, the Kremlin, St. Basil's Cathedral, Cathedral of Christ the Savior, Ismalayva and lots of other things. We were invited to the planner's dacha (like a weekend home to us) for a cook out one evening where we were served shashlyk (shash-leek), like a kabob without vegetables. It was very good!
We went out to different clubs a few nights, and had too much vodka one night. One night we went dancing after dinner and drinks...that was a really fun night!
I wish the trip had been a little longer...I learned a lot and had great fun.
I remember the day my boss asked me if I wanted to travel to Moscow...I had walked into our secretary's office for one thing or another and he walked out of his office and said, "You want to go to Moscow?" I turned with an eyebrow raised and asked, "For how long?" "About two weeks," came the reply. I rolled the idea around in my head, thinking about what I would do with our german shepard and who would watch the house. A little hesitantly I said, "I would love to, but let me check with my husband and I'll let you know for sure." Inside I was like, Moscow...wow. Why do they want me to go? I'm still pretty new around here. Moscow!! Oh my God, I've never been outside the US! What am I gonna do? What the hell do I need to travel outside the US?! So after I calmed down a bit, I called my husband and told him the story. He said, "Go! I can't believe you're hesitating!" "But what about the dog and the house? You're trucking!" I said. "Don't worry about it...I'll take care of it. You just go and don't let this opportunity pass you by," he said. So, I went back to my boss and said, "I'm in! Now what do I have to do?"
Well, I already had a passport...so all I needed was the Visa and some other paperwork. A couple of weeks later all the paperwork was done, I had my plane tickets, and my bags packed. On June 1st I boarded a Boeing 757 jet destined for Moscow, Russia via Atlanta, Georgia. After about 20 hours of travel I landed at the Sheretmeyvo Airport in Moscow and was herded through Customs and the passport check. After picking up our luggage my co-travelers and I loaded up in a van and headed for our hotel that would serve as home for the next fourteen days. As soon as we arrive at the hotel and meet up with the other NASA folks who are already there, everyone starts screaming they want to go to Red Square. We haven't even checked in yet and our bags are still sitting in the lobby. But later that evening, we all trek down to Red Square and then later we have dinner. We, all of us, ate out every night we were there! It was really great. I had Russian, Georgian, Italian, and so many other types of food I couldn't tell you how many.
The second night we were there, we went to a ballet with the Russian planners. My first ballet and it was quite interesting. A modern version of Cinderella.
I had a really good time and was able to get some site seeing done in between working. Red Square, the Kremlin, St. Basil's Cathedral, Cathedral of Christ the Savior, Ismalayva and lots of other things. We were invited to the planner's dacha (like a weekend home to us) for a cook out one evening where we were served shashlyk (shash-leek), like a kabob without vegetables. It was very good!
We went out to different clubs a few nights, and had too much vodka one night. One night we went dancing after dinner and drinks...that was a really fun night!
I wish the trip had been a little longer...I learned a lot and had great fun.
New York City via Reading Pennsylvania
Sunday June 10, 2007
I decided to take a vacation and go back home for a week. May 26th I boarded a plane bound for Philidelphia PA and my mom and aunt met me at the airport when my plane touched down. From then on I was in a tornado of activity. I got to see my closest cousin's new baby Sunday morning. She's sooooo cute!!! What a doll...
Of course Sunday the 27th was my birthday (made it to 24) and my mom took me to dinner and shopping. We had a nice cook out Monday for Memorial Day with only a few hiccups. I went to visit my eldest brother's grave since I haven't visited since I was a child. I feel he always is watching over me, keeping me safe. I got to meet cousins I've never met since I haven't been home in years and catch up with those I haven't seen in forever. It was really good to get home and see family, I've missed them all so much.
Tuesday was a really fun day!! We went to New York City for the day! My cousin, Tia, my mom, Tia's mom, my aunt Arlene, and two friends of the family all piled into a minivan and trekked to New York at 6am. We saw lots of things and different buildings. We took the Staten Island ferry across and then picked up the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island ferry. I took lots of pictures of everything. We didn't go up into Liberty because they were booked but it was really nice to be there. It seems much different very close up. She has more presence it seems when you are that close. The Ellis Island museum was really great too...there is a lot of story to be found there and I would recommend going if you have the chance. We visited Ground Zero and saw the progress they are making. It's a very nice makeshift tribute that they have set up at the site. We saw St. Pete's Cathedral and Rockefeller Center. St. Pete's is beautiful!! We began heading back home about 10 pm and Tia and I are sitting in the back of the van again and we're feeling a little rowdy, so she starts yelling out the cracked windows in the back and whistling at guys on the street and just being crazy. I joined in of course and we had the entire van laughing their heads off with our antics. New York City rocks!!!!
The rest of the week for vacation went quick and wasn't long enough. We all did some more shopping and I just had to spend more time with Tia and the baby, Tayler Rose. Tia is about as close to a sister that I've ever had and I feel like Tayler's aunt. If I lived closer that child would be soooo spoiled.
I had to leave Friday June 1st to travel to Russia for work. More on that to come later.
All in all, it was a good vacation and birthday.
Official Certified Flight Controller for the International Space Station
Saturday March 24, 2007
March 15th...that was the day it was official. I became a certified Flight Controller for the International Space Station!! How cool does that sound? I love my job! And they keep wanting to give me more money for it too.
The end of May I'm taking a vacation to Pennsylvania to see family. I'll get to meet my cousin's new baby girl and her fiance. I'll get to see family I haven't seen in years! It's gonna be great...and my mom and a couple of my aunts and me are going to New York City for a day to hang out and go site seeing. Can't wait...I've never been to NYC.
I'm hoping to get a new car in a couple of months. I want to get a Hyundai Sonata, it's a really cute car and affordable. Can't wait to get a new car!!
March 15th...that was the day it was official. I became a certified Flight Controller for the International Space Station!! How cool does that sound? I love my job! And they keep wanting to give me more money for it too.
The end of May I'm taking a vacation to Pennsylvania to see family. I'll get to meet my cousin's new baby girl and her fiance. I'll get to see family I haven't seen in years! It's gonna be great...and my mom and a couple of my aunts and me are going to New York City for a day to hang out and go site seeing. Can't wait...I've never been to NYC.
I'm hoping to get a new car in a couple of months. I want to get a Hyundai Sonata, it's a really cute car and affordable. Can't wait to get a new car!!
Heartbreaking...
Wednesday January 3, 2007
My stepdad's condition had worsened over the few months that I had seen him last and hope was fading. I prayed and begged and pleaded to God to make him better, make him ok, but it was not to be in the cards. On October 16th 2006 my aunt in Arizona called me on my cell phone while I was at work. My stepdad had passed away in the night...I started crying.
60 years, 2 months, and 12 days his obituary said...not long enough in my book. He had brain cancer and had barely survived his third surgery to remove a tumor, so a fourth was out of the question. He was the sweetest man you could ever hope to know, if not a little quirky. Even when he was in pain he always said he was feeling ok. He always had a smile for me and always asked me how I was doing and how my husband was doing. He never complained about the pain, the medications, the chemo, or anything. He just pushed on, fighting until he could fight no more.
When my aunt called I asked if Mom was ok and if someone was with her. I felt so bad not being there with her. She said Mom was handling it and she had been with her the night before. I told her to be sure and call me to let me know when the funeral was going to be so I could fly out. I called my husband and told him the news, then I called Mom to talk with her. She said she was ok and I made her promise to call me if she needed anything.
The memorial service was October 28th. Bruce had wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread with his mom's in San Diego. My Mom and two aunts will be taking him out there in February. It's most unfair. He had a lot of life still ahead of him, but cancer took that away. We all miss him terribly.
My stepdad's condition had worsened over the few months that I had seen him last and hope was fading. I prayed and begged and pleaded to God to make him better, make him ok, but it was not to be in the cards. On October 16th 2006 my aunt in Arizona called me on my cell phone while I was at work. My stepdad had passed away in the night...I started crying.
60 years, 2 months, and 12 days his obituary said...not long enough in my book. He had brain cancer and had barely survived his third surgery to remove a tumor, so a fourth was out of the question. He was the sweetest man you could ever hope to know, if not a little quirky. Even when he was in pain he always said he was feeling ok. He always had a smile for me and always asked me how I was doing and how my husband was doing. He never complained about the pain, the medications, the chemo, or anything. He just pushed on, fighting until he could fight no more.
When my aunt called I asked if Mom was ok and if someone was with her. I felt so bad not being there with her. She said Mom was handling it and she had been with her the night before. I told her to be sure and call me to let me know when the funeral was going to be so I could fly out. I called my husband and told him the news, then I called Mom to talk with her. She said she was ok and I made her promise to call me if she needed anything.
The memorial service was October 28th. Bruce had wanted to be cremated and his ashes spread with his mom's in San Diego. My Mom and two aunts will be taking him out there in February. It's most unfair. He had a lot of life still ahead of him, but cancer took that away. We all miss him terribly.
Knocked down and paved over...
Wednesday January 3, 2007
Ok, now that I have gotten my writing cap back on I can get this thing updated.
The holidays were great, I got everything I wanted and spent some good time with my family in Arizona. My husband and I went traipsing along memory lane while we were there. The places we used to live have changed so much that we could barely recognize them. Where there used to be empty desert fields are now housing developments, strip malls, McDonald's, stores and just about everything else. Phoenix and Tucson are no longer discernible from each other, the suburbs blend into the metropolis, and there is almost no desert left! I remember driving my Dad's '85 Chevy Cavalier out into the desert and riding around in it with my brother and friends. All those roads are paved now and there are houses where there used to be cactus. I remember when you drove past a certain street there was nothing but desert that stretched out in front of you...not anymore. Now it's TGI Fridays on the corner there, Bed Bath & Beyond on the corner here, and every single hotel chain represented everywhere. Bell Road, Glendale AZ is a perfect example. There used to be absolutely nothing beyond the Loop 101 except a long and barren expanse of sand and cacti...now, like my Mom says, if you can't find a place to shop, eat, or sleep on Bell you need to get your eyes checked. I can't believe how much the place has expanded.
And my husband's old neck of the woods was no better. They have all kinds of shops and restaurants now, and the streets have been paved and traffic lights installed. More houses have been erected, right into the mountains where he used to hike with his childhood buddies. There used to be only one main road that took you out to his area...now there are at least half a dozen.
It saddens me to think about how much has changed. We were rowdy kids back then and did things we probably should have gotten caught for but never did, but the kids there now don't even have the opportunity to go romping around in the desert in a jacked-up Ford pickup or an oil-leaking carburetor buzzer because the state is putting some kind of building on every available patch of desert sand there is! They've even gone so far in previous years as to knock down a mountain to put up housing. I cherish memories like this: riding out to the middle of the desert to test my driving skills, getting jostled in the cab of a pickup as we tried to find every rut in the road, dragging shopping carts around by the bumper of said pickup and then returning them to the cart line of the store we found them at, hiking up a mountain just to say you did it and then trying to run back down without breaking your neck. Stupid stuff that kids do in their spare time while their parents aren't looking. The state of Arizona has paved over, erected restaurants and houses on, and knocked down those past times. It's so sad...
I'm ever so glad Texas is such a huge state...they can't build fast enough for Texas to face the same over-run fate that Arizona has.
Ok, now that I have gotten my writing cap back on I can get this thing updated.
The holidays were great, I got everything I wanted and spent some good time with my family in Arizona. My husband and I went traipsing along memory lane while we were there. The places we used to live have changed so much that we could barely recognize them. Where there used to be empty desert fields are now housing developments, strip malls, McDonald's, stores and just about everything else. Phoenix and Tucson are no longer discernible from each other, the suburbs blend into the metropolis, and there is almost no desert left! I remember driving my Dad's '85 Chevy Cavalier out into the desert and riding around in it with my brother and friends. All those roads are paved now and there are houses where there used to be cactus. I remember when you drove past a certain street there was nothing but desert that stretched out in front of you...not anymore. Now it's TGI Fridays on the corner there, Bed Bath & Beyond on the corner here, and every single hotel chain represented everywhere. Bell Road, Glendale AZ is a perfect example. There used to be absolutely nothing beyond the Loop 101 except a long and barren expanse of sand and cacti...now, like my Mom says, if you can't find a place to shop, eat, or sleep on Bell you need to get your eyes checked. I can't believe how much the place has expanded.
And my husband's old neck of the woods was no better. They have all kinds of shops and restaurants now, and the streets have been paved and traffic lights installed. More houses have been erected, right into the mountains where he used to hike with his childhood buddies. There used to be only one main road that took you out to his area...now there are at least half a dozen.
It saddens me to think about how much has changed. We were rowdy kids back then and did things we probably should have gotten caught for but never did, but the kids there now don't even have the opportunity to go romping around in the desert in a jacked-up Ford pickup or an oil-leaking carburetor buzzer because the state is putting some kind of building on every available patch of desert sand there is! They've even gone so far in previous years as to knock down a mountain to put up housing. I cherish memories like this: riding out to the middle of the desert to test my driving skills, getting jostled in the cab of a pickup as we tried to find every rut in the road, dragging shopping carts around by the bumper of said pickup and then returning them to the cart line of the store we found them at, hiking up a mountain just to say you did it and then trying to run back down without breaking your neck. Stupid stuff that kids do in their spare time while their parents aren't looking. The state of Arizona has paved over, erected restaurants and houses on, and knocked down those past times. It's so sad...
I'm ever so glad Texas is such a huge state...they can't build fast enough for Texas to face the same over-run fate that Arizona has.
Going to the stars and beyond...
Friday October 6, 2006
My job is going very well. I have been given some projects already to work on, and I start my on-the-job training on Monday. I will be training for OCA which is the person behind the scenes of the Mission Control Center who sends email, data, and messages to the astronauts on the space station. I'm still in a little bit of shock about this job. I only graduated from college at the end of July and right off the bat I was offered this fantastic job at the Johnson Space Center in Houston working for one of NASA's contractors. This is a dream job to most everyone I know. It wasn't necessarily my dream job, but there is immense potential for me here. I can comfortably slide into the idea of this as my dream job. The benefits and pay are phenomenal, too!
But I couldn't have accomplished everything I have if it weren't for my very loving family. My wonderful parents, very supportive husband, the support from my in-laws, and all the rest of my family. I couldn't have gotten where I am today without you all because you're the ones who believed in me, said I could do anything I wanted to, and made me believe that I could go anywhere and be anyone I wanted to be. Through the hard times, the bad times, the sad times, and all the good times in between, thanks to everyone who was there to support me in my dreams of reaching for the stars. I made it! Now it's time to go further... I love y'all from the deepest part of my heart!
My job is going very well. I have been given some projects already to work on, and I start my on-the-job training on Monday. I will be training for OCA which is the person behind the scenes of the Mission Control Center who sends email, data, and messages to the astronauts on the space station. I'm still in a little bit of shock about this job. I only graduated from college at the end of July and right off the bat I was offered this fantastic job at the Johnson Space Center in Houston working for one of NASA's contractors. This is a dream job to most everyone I know. It wasn't necessarily my dream job, but there is immense potential for me here. I can comfortably slide into the idea of this as my dream job. The benefits and pay are phenomenal, too!
But I couldn't have accomplished everything I have if it weren't for my very loving family. My wonderful parents, very supportive husband, the support from my in-laws, and all the rest of my family. I couldn't have gotten where I am today without you all because you're the ones who believed in me, said I could do anything I wanted to, and made me believe that I could go anywhere and be anyone I wanted to be. Through the hard times, the bad times, the sad times, and all the good times in between, thanks to everyone who was there to support me in my dreams of reaching for the stars. I made it! Now it's time to go further... I love y'all from the deepest part of my heart!
Time to Grind......
Friday August 25, 2006
Great news...we have a place to live that's only an hour from work. The whole deal went through at the last minute. The paperwork was signed yesterday, Thursday, and I'm catching a ride back to Oklahoma with my father-in-law tomorrow to finish packing at the old house. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a moving company to the old house in time because they are about four weeks behind, so I had to rent a U-Haul. The good thing is United Space Alliance is reimbursing us for the truck rental and the enroute trip from Oklahoma to Texas. Warm fuzzies about that....
I can't wait to start my new job, get moved into our place, and finally have a little bit of time to breathe. I have been running around setting things up, finding a job, trying to find a house, calling and meeting with realtors, faxing, phone calls.....it's been crazy. Then waiting on pins and needles for the lease paperwork to come through before I had to get back to Oklahoma. God's time table, that's what my realtor said to me as we met for lunch to sign all the paperwork. I'm just glad it all went through and now the only thing I have to worry about is getting the electric turned on at the new house, but I don't even know the electric company for the area. Laura, my realtor, is going to find out for me though. The trials and tribulations of moving. I hate moving....it's so stressful and tiring. Hopefully we will only have to move one more time.....to our dream house once it's built.
I've only got one thing to say.....Let's Ride.
Great news...we have a place to live that's only an hour from work. The whole deal went through at the last minute. The paperwork was signed yesterday, Thursday, and I'm catching a ride back to Oklahoma with my father-in-law tomorrow to finish packing at the old house. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a moving company to the old house in time because they are about four weeks behind, so I had to rent a U-Haul. The good thing is United Space Alliance is reimbursing us for the truck rental and the enroute trip from Oklahoma to Texas. Warm fuzzies about that....
I can't wait to start my new job, get moved into our place, and finally have a little bit of time to breathe. I have been running around setting things up, finding a job, trying to find a house, calling and meeting with realtors, faxing, phone calls.....it's been crazy. Then waiting on pins and needles for the lease paperwork to come through before I had to get back to Oklahoma. God's time table, that's what my realtor said to me as we met for lunch to sign all the paperwork. I'm just glad it all went through and now the only thing I have to worry about is getting the electric turned on at the new house, but I don't even know the electric company for the area. Laura, my realtor, is going to find out for me though. The trials and tribulations of moving. I hate moving....it's so stressful and tiring. Hopefully we will only have to move one more time.....to our dream house once it's built.
I've only got one thing to say.....Let's Ride.
Fantastic, Fabulous, Steal-Your-Breath News!!!!!
Thursday August 10, 2006
I got a job!!!!!! And not just any old job....a job at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas!! Yeah, that's right the, "Houston, we have a problem," Space Center! I've only been in Houston for about a week and I already have a job. I think I'm going to love Texas! I interviewed with United Space Alliance (my employer) Wednesday, yesterday, and they called me back today and offered me the job! United Space Alliance is NASA's company that designs the flight plans for the astronauts to follow in space and they also design the software tools the astronauts use on the computer terminals in the shuttles. They do more than that too. Find out about USA at www.unitedspacealliance.com.
My job will include flight planning and software tool design. There is also a robotics area which I can grow into once I obtain my Master's degree in that field. The benefits USA offers are outstanding and they will pay for me to go back to school and get my Master's! I'm still in shock...I mean I'm 23 years old, just out of college, and I'm being offered all of this! It's mind blowing...
I start September 11th after I pass the drug screening and background check. My goal now is to find a place to live close to the Space Center. I can't wait to get officially moved and start at this amazing job!!
I got a job!!!!!! And not just any old job....a job at the Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas!! Yeah, that's right the, "Houston, we have a problem," Space Center! I've only been in Houston for about a week and I already have a job. I think I'm going to love Texas! I interviewed with United Space Alliance (my employer) Wednesday, yesterday, and they called me back today and offered me the job! United Space Alliance is NASA's company that designs the flight plans for the astronauts to follow in space and they also design the software tools the astronauts use on the computer terminals in the shuttles. They do more than that too. Find out about USA at www.unitedspacealliance.com.
My job will include flight planning and software tool design. There is also a robotics area which I can grow into once I obtain my Master's degree in that field. The benefits USA offers are outstanding and they will pay for me to go back to school and get my Master's! I'm still in shock...I mean I'm 23 years old, just out of college, and I'm being offered all of this! It's mind blowing...
I start September 11th after I pass the drug screening and background check. My goal now is to find a place to live close to the Space Center. I can't wait to get officially moved and start at this amazing job!!
It's Official!!
Friday July 28, 2006
Well, it's official........I am a college graduate as of today!!! It feels so good to finally be done with school!! I demo-ed my final Senior project for my instructors yesterday and when it was all said and done, I asked my instructor if I could find out my grade before he posted them today. He told me to come talk to him in his office. We went out in the hall and he told me I had an A!!!! I pumped my arm in the air and almost danced out of the building. I never thought I would come to this day. I mean as it got nearer and nearer I just freaked myself out thinking I'm never going to pass my classes, this is going to be the worst semester, I'm going to have to do it over. And now it's here and I'm a little sad, and a little nervous, and a lot estatic!! I have to get a real job now, and face the real world. That in itself is scary...but I have many opportunities and lots of people who want to talk to me about coming to work for them. It's kind of funny in a way, I never thought I'd have to make the choice between so many different companies. To have all these people who want me to work for them, I feel rather popular. That strikes me as humerous. With all my worldly wisdom at twenty three years old, here I go to blaze the world with my determination.
Well, it's official........I am a college graduate as of today!!! It feels so good to finally be done with school!! I demo-ed my final Senior project for my instructors yesterday and when it was all said and done, I asked my instructor if I could find out my grade before he posted them today. He told me to come talk to him in his office. We went out in the hall and he told me I had an A!!!! I pumped my arm in the air and almost danced out of the building. I never thought I would come to this day. I mean as it got nearer and nearer I just freaked myself out thinking I'm never going to pass my classes, this is going to be the worst semester, I'm going to have to do it over. And now it's here and I'm a little sad, and a little nervous, and a lot estatic!! I have to get a real job now, and face the real world. That in itself is scary...but I have many opportunities and lots of people who want to talk to me about coming to work for them. It's kind of funny in a way, I never thought I'd have to make the choice between so many different companies. To have all these people who want me to work for them, I feel rather popular. That strikes me as humerous. With all my worldly wisdom at twenty three years old, here I go to blaze the world with my determination.
College Career Coming to a Close
Wednesday July 5, 2006
It's July already!!! I have until the end of this month to get my Senior Project completed. This will determine the fate of my college career. If I don't pass this class then I won't actually graduate and I won't be getting a new job out in the real world....
I'm optimistic though, because the project is coming along very well. So everyone cross your fingers for me and pray that I can get my program working before the last week of July.
I've been rather busy lately. I've been scouring the online newspapers in Houston and nearby areas for a place to live. We've settled on Huntsville for our first attempt at living in the great state of Texas. Actually we've lived there before, but this time we're on our own!! I can't wait! I've also been applying to jobs on Monster from my search engines. I've received numerous job offers and I just have to call them back again and begin the process of interviewing and the like. I'm nervous, scared, excited, and anxious all balled up into one. It's a new adventure and I'm just hoping that I come out on top and not buried five miles under the sea of no call backs and six month panic attacks because I haven't heard from any company who wants me. The big world might not be so forgiving....
By this time next month I will be in Houston job and house hunting, boning up on my guitar skills, and taking Scuba lessons. That's going to be so much fun!! I can't wait to get certified. I might even get a little writing in...
Wish me luck!!!!
It's July already!!! I have until the end of this month to get my Senior Project completed. This will determine the fate of my college career. If I don't pass this class then I won't actually graduate and I won't be getting a new job out in the real world....
I'm optimistic though, because the project is coming along very well. So everyone cross your fingers for me and pray that I can get my program working before the last week of July.
I've been rather busy lately. I've been scouring the online newspapers in Houston and nearby areas for a place to live. We've settled on Huntsville for our first attempt at living in the great state of Texas. Actually we've lived there before, but this time we're on our own!! I can't wait! I've also been applying to jobs on Monster from my search engines. I've received numerous job offers and I just have to call them back again and begin the process of interviewing and the like. I'm nervous, scared, excited, and anxious all balled up into one. It's a new adventure and I'm just hoping that I come out on top and not buried five miles under the sea of no call backs and six month panic attacks because I haven't heard from any company who wants me. The big world might not be so forgiving....
By this time next month I will be in Houston job and house hunting, boning up on my guitar skills, and taking Scuba lessons. That's going to be so much fun!! I can't wait to get certified. I might even get a little writing in...
Wish me luck!!!!
Say Hello to the new Graduate!
Tuesday May 9, 2006
Well, graduation went off almost without a bang. It rained all day Saturday. So of course it rained out my graduation and we had to move inside where there was limited seating. My Mom and stepdad were able to be in the gym, but everyone else had to watch the ceremony from another building. The president of our college spoke at length, and I had to sit for about an hour before I had my chance to walk across the stage. I was so nervous, thought I was going to fall on my face walking across. As I got to the end of the stage after shaking the president's hand and the dean of our college's hand, knowing that the bulk of my family was watching from another building, I raised the "diploma" they had given me and waved it in the air, grinning like an idiot, and pumping my fist. I continued off the stage and had my picture snapped, and continued back to my seat. Sitting for another hour almost, then finally the ceremony was over. I headed back to my car to pull around and pick up my parents at the front of the building. Saturday evening my family and I went out to dinner and I was given tons of stuff. All in all it was really fun and a great time.
My parents had to fly back to Phoenix on Monday, and they made it back home ok. Now I have one semester left and I will finally get my actual diploma. Yeah!!!!
Well, graduation went off almost without a bang. It rained all day Saturday. So of course it rained out my graduation and we had to move inside where there was limited seating. My Mom and stepdad were able to be in the gym, but everyone else had to watch the ceremony from another building. The president of our college spoke at length, and I had to sit for about an hour before I had my chance to walk across the stage. I was so nervous, thought I was going to fall on my face walking across. As I got to the end of the stage after shaking the president's hand and the dean of our college's hand, knowing that the bulk of my family was watching from another building, I raised the "diploma" they had given me and waved it in the air, grinning like an idiot, and pumping my fist. I continued off the stage and had my picture snapped, and continued back to my seat. Sitting for another hour almost, then finally the ceremony was over. I headed back to my car to pull around and pick up my parents at the front of the building. Saturday evening my family and I went out to dinner and I was given tons of stuff. All in all it was really fun and a great time.
My parents had to fly back to Phoenix on Monday, and they made it back home ok. Now I have one semester left and I will finally get my actual diploma. Yeah!!!!
Ahhh....Finals Week
Monday, May 1, 2006
Well, today started the most stressful week of any college student's college career, Finals Week Spring 2006. This is the week when projects that the students have had all semester to work on are due, massive 100 question tests are administered, and the blood pressure rate of the entire student body sky rockets into the dangerous range. This week is especially stressful for me as it is my second to last semester and if I don't pass my finals then my entire career swings into the breeze. It's also graduation week. Saturday May 6th is commencement day for those of us graduating this Spring and in the Summer. I'm off to a good start however, I feel confident about the Business Law final I took this morning and tonight I will study for my Financial Accounting final tomorrow. We'll wait until the week is finished before coming to a final decision. My parents are coming into town from Arizona for my graduation, and I'm really excited they get to be here for me. I have a bunch of friends who are going to be there to cheer me across the stage. It's going to be a bittersweet celebration though, because I have to take two summer classes before I technically graduate.
When this week is over, I swear I'm going to sleep for a year.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Be Afraid...Be Very Afraid
This article was brought to my attention by one of my Computer Science teachers today. Read on:
Get ready for Microsoft, cable and phone companies, and quite a few other people to know a lot more about what you do on your computer, thanks to House Bill 2083.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Ben Fenwick
It’s supposed to protect you from predators spying on your computer habits, but a bill Microsoft Corp. helped write for Oklahoma will open your personal information to warrantless searches, according to a computer privacy expert and a state representative.
Called the “Computer Spyware Protection Act,” House Bill 2083 would create fines of up to a million dollars for anyone using viruses or surreptitious computer techniques to break on to someone’s computer without that person’s knowledge and acceptance, according to the bill’s state Senate author, Clark Jolley.
“The bill has a clear prohibition on anything going in without your permission. You have to grant permission,” said Jolley, R-Edmond. “You can look at your license agreement. It will say whether they have the ability to take that information or not.”
But therein lies the catch.
If you click that “accept” button on the routine user’s agreement, the proposed law would allow any company from whom you bought upgradable software the freedom to come onto your computer for “detection or prevention of the unauthorized use of or fraudulent or other illegal activities in connection with a network, service, or computer software, including scanning for and removing computer software prescribed under this act.”
That means that Microsoft (or another company with such software) can erase spyware or viruses. But if you have, say, a pirated copy of Excel — Microsoft (or companies with similar software) can erase it, or anything else they want to erase, and not be held liable for it.
Additionally, that phrase “fraudulent or other illegal activities” means they can:
—Let the local district attorney know that you wrote a hot check last month.
—Let the attorney general know that you play online poker.
—Let the tax commission know you bought cartons of cigarettes and didn’t pay the state tax on them.
—Read anything on your hard drive, such as your name, home address, personal identification code, passwords, Social Security number … etc., etc., etc.
“I think in broad terms that is still a form of spying,” said Marc Rotenberg, attorney and executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center in Washington, D.C. “Some people say, ‘Well, it’s justified.’ I’m not so clear that should be the case. Particularly if the reason you are passing legislation is to cover that activity.”
The bill is scheduled to go back before the House for another vote. Will the Oklahoma House, on behalf of all computer users in the state of Oklahoma, click “accept”?
Where did you go yesterday?
Computer users first accepted updates when anti-virus makers, such as Symantec Corp. or McAfee, began back in the Nineties offering regular updates in an attempt to stay current with the alarming number of viruses introduced over the Internet. This was followed by Windows ME and 2000 allowing updates to their programs via downloads. By the time Windows XP came out, regular online updates became part of the product one purchased.
At around the same time, the Napster phenomenon pushed music corporations, courts and lawmakers into taking action against online file sharing of music. Hip, computer-savvy listeners traded pirated MP3 recordings beyond count, leading to action by the music industry to go on a search and destroy mission against the online music traders, even in Oklahoma. In 2000, Oklahoma State University police seized a student’s computer containing thousands of downloaded songs after he was traced by a recording industry group.
Anti-spyware bill author Jolley said that’s what people like the OSU student get for sharing their information online.
“You have to look at the other side of that issue,” Jolley said. “When they agreed to put their files online, they literally agreed to allow people to come on their computers and search the files online. On a P-to-P (peer-to-peer) network, you are inviting other people to see what you have. That’s a risk you run by participating in file share.”
Jolley said his spyware bill is supposed to stop “phishers” from stealing one’s identity off of one’s computer, is supposed to stop “Trojan horse” viruses from being installed on the computer and is supposed to make illegal a host of other techniques for spying on a user’s personal information.
“It prohibits them from taking things as basic as your home address, your first name, your first initial in combination with your last name, your passwords, any personal identification numbers you have, any biometric information, any Social Security, tax IDs, drivers licenses, account balances, overdraft histories — there is a clear prohibition on that,” Jolley said.
Indeed, Sections 4 and 5 of the act specifically forbid anyone from doing so without the user’s permission.
However, Section 6 of the act says such a prohibition “shall not apply” to “telecommunications carrier, cable operator, computer hardware or software provider or provider of information service” and won’t apply to those companies in cases of “detection or prevention of the unauthorized use of or fraudulent or other illegal activities.”
Which means software companies updating a user’s software or the cable company monitoring that user’s activities on a broadband modem hookup can turn over that user’s history of writing hot checks to the district attorney if the company feels like it, said Rotenberg.
“You go back to the old-fashioned wiretap laws,” Rotenberg said. “There was an exception to allow telephone companies to listen in on telephone calls. The theory was that it was necessary to make sure that the service was working. Part of what’s going on here is to significantly expand that exemption to a whole range of companies that might have reason for looking on your computer. The statute will give them authority to do so. I think it’s too broad. I think the users in the end need to be able to allow that themselves.”
Jolley insists his proposed law would not allow Microsoft, Symantec or Cox Communications to become “Big Brother.”
“The goal of this is not to allow any company to go through and scan your computer,” Jolley said. “If they are, it has to be for a specific purpose. If you don’t want them doing that, don’t agree to (the user’s agreement).”
Which means, when a user accepts Microsoft’s Windows operating system on that new computer, or Norton AntiVirus, or Apple’s operating system or a host of other online-upgradable programs, that user agrees to being watched by the company.
Who on Earth would write such a law? It wasn’t Jolley, or anyone in Oklahoma.
MOUTHING OFF
“Now we are talking about Microsoft having the freedom to check your computer for any sort of illegal or fraudulent activity you might be participating in. Without your knowledge or consent. It is giving up your rights to privacy.”
—State Rep. Mike Reynolds, R-Oklahoma City, about House Bill 2083. The bill gives software or online access companies freedom, without liability, to erase spyware and pirated software from users’ computers, in addition to monitoring for fraudulent or illegal activities.
My first thought was Oh my.......Oh...
How did we let something this stupid and invasive ever pass the legislation? I'm a pretty savvy computer person and can look over my own shoulder-- I can look out for myself and my own computer thank you very much. I don't need Microsoft or Kodak or any other company coming into my computer and looking it over for me. I've got five different types of spyware removal programs and about four different malware removal programs plus virus scanners and a host of other programs that allow me to know exactly what goes into my computer and what is going out. This article scared me. If you're the type of paranoid I am about computers, then I know you share the same fears I do. Where will it end? The world of computers is turning into Big Brother, and we're just letting it happen. The very people who are preaching about not spying on consumers using computers are breaking their own codes of conduct. If I were you, I'd cloak my hard drives and any other sensitive information that may be on your computer. Get a rootkit revealer and run it often. Get several different spyware removers and run those often too. Know exactly what is going in or out of your computer at all times. All it takes is for one piece of sensitive information to get out and you're put on a no-fly list at the airport, and you can't even get a decent loan because someone used your name and credit score to buy a Ferrari. Pay attention, very close attention. We have to take back the privacy of our computers, and we have to do it now.
Get ready for Microsoft, cable and phone companies, and quite a few other people to know a lot more about what you do on your computer, thanks to House Bill 2083.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Ben Fenwick
It’s supposed to protect you from predators spying on your computer habits, but a bill Microsoft Corp. helped write for Oklahoma will open your personal information to warrantless searches, according to a computer privacy expert and a state representative.
Called the “Computer Spyware Protection Act,” House Bill 2083 would create fines of up to a million dollars for anyone using viruses or surreptitious computer techniques to break on to someone’s computer without that person’s knowledge and acceptance, according to the bill’s state Senate author, Clark Jolley.
“The bill has a clear prohibition on anything going in without your permission. You have to grant permission,” said Jolley, R-Edmond. “You can look at your license agreement. It will say whether they have the ability to take that information or not.”
But therein lies the catch.
If you click that “accept” button on the routine user’s agreement, the proposed law would allow any company from whom you bought upgradable software the freedom to come onto your computer for “detection or prevention of the unauthorized use of or fraudulent or other illegal activities in connection with a network, service, or computer software, including scanning for and removing computer software prescribed under this act.”
That means that Microsoft (or another company with such software) can erase spyware or viruses. But if you have, say, a pirated copy of Excel — Microsoft (or companies with similar software) can erase it, or anything else they want to erase, and not be held liable for it.
Additionally, that phrase “fraudulent or other illegal activities” means they can:
—Let the local district attorney know that you wrote a hot check last month.
—Let the attorney general know that you play online poker.
—Let the tax commission know you bought cartons of cigarettes and didn’t pay the state tax on them.
—Read anything on your hard drive, such as your name, home address, personal identification code, passwords, Social Security number … etc., etc., etc.
“I think in broad terms that is still a form of spying,” said Marc Rotenberg, attorney and executive director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center in Washington, D.C. “Some people say, ‘Well, it’s justified.’ I’m not so clear that should be the case. Particularly if the reason you are passing legislation is to cover that activity.”
The bill is scheduled to go back before the House for another vote. Will the Oklahoma House, on behalf of all computer users in the state of Oklahoma, click “accept”?
Where did you go yesterday?
Computer users first accepted updates when anti-virus makers, such as Symantec Corp. or McAfee, began back in the Nineties offering regular updates in an attempt to stay current with the alarming number of viruses introduced over the Internet. This was followed by Windows ME and 2000 allowing updates to their programs via downloads. By the time Windows XP came out, regular online updates became part of the product one purchased.
At around the same time, the Napster phenomenon pushed music corporations, courts and lawmakers into taking action against online file sharing of music. Hip, computer-savvy listeners traded pirated MP3 recordings beyond count, leading to action by the music industry to go on a search and destroy mission against the online music traders, even in Oklahoma. In 2000, Oklahoma State University police seized a student’s computer containing thousands of downloaded songs after he was traced by a recording industry group.
Anti-spyware bill author Jolley said that’s what people like the OSU student get for sharing their information online.
“You have to look at the other side of that issue,” Jolley said. “When they agreed to put their files online, they literally agreed to allow people to come on their computers and search the files online. On a P-to-P (peer-to-peer) network, you are inviting other people to see what you have. That’s a risk you run by participating in file share.”
Jolley said his spyware bill is supposed to stop “phishers” from stealing one’s identity off of one’s computer, is supposed to stop “Trojan horse” viruses from being installed on the computer and is supposed to make illegal a host of other techniques for spying on a user’s personal information.
“It prohibits them from taking things as basic as your home address, your first name, your first initial in combination with your last name, your passwords, any personal identification numbers you have, any biometric information, any Social Security, tax IDs, drivers licenses, account balances, overdraft histories — there is a clear prohibition on that,” Jolley said.
Indeed, Sections 4 and 5 of the act specifically forbid anyone from doing so without the user’s permission.
However, Section 6 of the act says such a prohibition “shall not apply” to “telecommunications carrier, cable operator, computer hardware or software provider or provider of information service” and won’t apply to those companies in cases of “detection or prevention of the unauthorized use of or fraudulent or other illegal activities.”
Which means software companies updating a user’s software or the cable company monitoring that user’s activities on a broadband modem hookup can turn over that user’s history of writing hot checks to the district attorney if the company feels like it, said Rotenberg.
“You go back to the old-fashioned wiretap laws,” Rotenberg said. “There was an exception to allow telephone companies to listen in on telephone calls. The theory was that it was necessary to make sure that the service was working. Part of what’s going on here is to significantly expand that exemption to a whole range of companies that might have reason for looking on your computer. The statute will give them authority to do so. I think it’s too broad. I think the users in the end need to be able to allow that themselves.”
Jolley insists his proposed law would not allow Microsoft, Symantec or Cox Communications to become “Big Brother.”
“The goal of this is not to allow any company to go through and scan your computer,” Jolley said. “If they are, it has to be for a specific purpose. If you don’t want them doing that, don’t agree to (the user’s agreement).”
Which means, when a user accepts Microsoft’s Windows operating system on that new computer, or Norton AntiVirus, or Apple’s operating system or a host of other online-upgradable programs, that user agrees to being watched by the company.
Who on Earth would write such a law? It wasn’t Jolley, or anyone in Oklahoma.
MOUTHING OFF
“Now we are talking about Microsoft having the freedom to check your computer for any sort of illegal or fraudulent activity you might be participating in. Without your knowledge or consent. It is giving up your rights to privacy.”
—State Rep. Mike Reynolds, R-Oklahoma City, about House Bill 2083. The bill gives software or online access companies freedom, without liability, to erase spyware and pirated software from users’ computers, in addition to monitoring for fraudulent or illegal activities.
My first thought was Oh my.......Oh...
How did we let something this stupid and invasive ever pass the legislation? I'm a pretty savvy computer person and can look over my own shoulder-- I can look out for myself and my own computer thank you very much. I don't need Microsoft or Kodak or any other company coming into my computer and looking it over for me. I've got five different types of spyware removal programs and about four different malware removal programs plus virus scanners and a host of other programs that allow me to know exactly what goes into my computer and what is going out. This article scared me. If you're the type of paranoid I am about computers, then I know you share the same fears I do. Where will it end? The world of computers is turning into Big Brother, and we're just letting it happen. The very people who are preaching about not spying on consumers using computers are breaking their own codes of conduct. If I were you, I'd cloak my hard drives and any other sensitive information that may be on your computer. Get a rootkit revealer and run it often. Get several different spyware removers and run those often too. Know exactly what is going in or out of your computer at all times. All it takes is for one piece of sensitive information to get out and you're put on a no-fly list at the airport, and you can't even get a decent loan because someone used your name and credit score to buy a Ferrari. Pay attention, very close attention. We have to take back the privacy of our computers, and we have to do it now.
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Get my heart rate all up and then...
I got a job offer today! This guy who works for a Technology consulting firm in Arkansas called me up because he saw my resume on Monster.com, but he didn't realize I was still in college. So I called him back and talked to him for a couple of minutes. I told him I was still in school but would be graduating in August. He asked if I was looking to stay in the area, but of course I'm not, so I told him that I was looking to be in Houston. He said they just opened their Houston office! Yeah, baby! So he said he would hang onto my resume and told me to give him a call later this year and we'll talk then. I was like, yes!!
He also told me that the leaders in the IT and computer fields are looking for people who can program in C#... I'm taking a class in C# for game programming right now, and will be gathering books on this. He told me if I could, to get as much experience in C# as possible. This makes me feel so much better about my prospects of a job after graduation.
I just polished up my resume last night and have been browsing my Monster search agents. I have quite a few job postings saved and can't wait to start the hunt. It won't be easy but I can take the rejections with the good news. It's a bit scary... hell, I'm scared spitless. I've never searched for a job in this field before, at least not in the real world, but I have my experience as a student technical consultant to fall back on. Maybe that will be good to sway employers. I mean it's more than three years experience, so that's got to count for something.
I'm so stoked about that phone call!!
He also told me that the leaders in the IT and computer fields are looking for people who can program in C#... I'm taking a class in C# for game programming right now, and will be gathering books on this. He told me if I could, to get as much experience in C# as possible. This makes me feel so much better about my prospects of a job after graduation.
I just polished up my resume last night and have been browsing my Monster search agents. I have quite a few job postings saved and can't wait to start the hunt. It won't be easy but I can take the rejections with the good news. It's a bit scary... hell, I'm scared spitless. I've never searched for a job in this field before, at least not in the real world, but I have my experience as a student technical consultant to fall back on. Maybe that will be good to sway employers. I mean it's more than three years experience, so that's got to count for something.
I'm so stoked about that phone call!!
Friday, January 20, 2006
Relief is bittersweet...
I talked to my Mom yesterday and she told me my stepdad's MRI on Tuesday came back clean. No sign of growth. It was just a bad imbalance of his medication. Which is great news, but... it's not over. Mom says she knows it will eventually come back and I hate to think that but I know it too. The doctors say he's not out of the woods... and probably never will be. We keep praying and hoping. It's kind of something that you tuck into the deepest, darkest corner of your mind and hope to God that it never sees the light of day again. It makes me feel so helpless... what do you do when you can't just take the wrong out and throw it away? It hurts my heart...
I wish sometimes that I could just reach into his brain and make all of the bad cells just disappear. He could go back to normal, no more pain, no more confusion, and Mom would still have the person she loves and married. If I could just take it away...
Someone once told me, "We are but a ripple upon the surface." And I remember thinking, What surface? The surface of what? I think now it's the surface of life. We go through life making choices and sometimes having them made for us, never completely realizing, when it comes down to elementals, we have no control. We have no control over when we will die, or what tragic things happen or don't happen to us. My stepdad didn't want this, had never expected this, but it's there, big as life. My Mom didn't want to have this kind of heartbreak and turmoil, she didn't ask for it... but there it is. I know life isn't fair... it's a ruthless damn SOB that doesn't take no for an answer. It's just sometimes... it's hard to stomach. I want to be a wave, dammit, not just a ripple... but I guess life's pool is just too big to be a wave. I want my stepdad to be a wave, I don't want this silent ruthless cancer leeching the life out of him. There, though, is the bone of contention... it doesn't matter what I want. Elementals decide, not us. Life decides, not us. I hope, though, that we can make the ripple a little bigger if we try hard enough. God, I hope...
I wish sometimes that I could just reach into his brain and make all of the bad cells just disappear. He could go back to normal, no more pain, no more confusion, and Mom would still have the person she loves and married. If I could just take it away...
Someone once told me, "We are but a ripple upon the surface." And I remember thinking, What surface? The surface of what? I think now it's the surface of life. We go through life making choices and sometimes having them made for us, never completely realizing, when it comes down to elementals, we have no control. We have no control over when we will die, or what tragic things happen or don't happen to us. My stepdad didn't want this, had never expected this, but it's there, big as life. My Mom didn't want to have this kind of heartbreak and turmoil, she didn't ask for it... but there it is. I know life isn't fair... it's a ruthless damn SOB that doesn't take no for an answer. It's just sometimes... it's hard to stomach. I want to be a wave, dammit, not just a ripple... but I guess life's pool is just too big to be a wave. I want my stepdad to be a wave, I don't want this silent ruthless cancer leeching the life out of him. There, though, is the bone of contention... it doesn't matter what I want. Elementals decide, not us. Life decides, not us. I hope, though, that we can make the ripple a little bigger if we try hard enough. God, I hope...
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
And then reality steps in...
Ah, well, the holidays are over, the new year is here. Time for that New Year's resolution to kick into high gear and make me skinny! Yeah right...
Phoenix was hot...80 degrees on Christmas Day! And I took long sleeved shirts with me. Wish I had packed shorts, I would have been fine. The break wasn't long enough though. Just another weekend would have made me happy.
Christmas was fun. I got to see all of my family and the little cousins. They are so cute! Partied one night with my older cousin, took flowers to my grandparents' grave, oh and watched the ball drop in Times Square...on the TV of course. All in all it was a great holiday, even with my eldest cousin getting yelled at by her Mom.
There is the screaming uncertainty of my stepdad's condition however. He goes for another MRI on the 17th or 19th.
School starts again on the 9th. I still have to get my textbooks for the semester. Ugg, dealing with the bookstore employees, it's like having jock itch. Half the time they can't even get the books right. Then I get my change check on the 19th! Cha-ching! Brand new HDTV sitting in my livingroom! Can't wait.
It was a great end to an old year and a great beginning to a new year... reality is just the thin appearance of sanity.
Phoenix was hot...80 degrees on Christmas Day! And I took long sleeved shirts with me. Wish I had packed shorts, I would have been fine. The break wasn't long enough though. Just another weekend would have made me happy.
Christmas was fun. I got to see all of my family and the little cousins. They are so cute! Partied one night with my older cousin, took flowers to my grandparents' grave, oh and watched the ball drop in Times Square...on the TV of course. All in all it was a great holiday, even with my eldest cousin getting yelled at by her Mom.
There is the screaming uncertainty of my stepdad's condition however. He goes for another MRI on the 17th or 19th.
School starts again on the 9th. I still have to get my textbooks for the semester. Ugg, dealing with the bookstore employees, it's like having jock itch. Half the time they can't even get the books right. Then I get my change check on the 19th! Cha-ching! Brand new HDTV sitting in my livingroom! Can't wait.
It was a great end to an old year and a great beginning to a new year... reality is just the thin appearance of sanity.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Christmas is Christmas
The Christmas season, a time for happiness and wonder. A time for celebration and joy. A time for children to sit with wide eyed splendor and listen to Christmas bedtime stories.
I’ve heard lately that this is changing, shifting right under our own noses. Christmas carols have been banned from being sung, decorations have not been put up, and wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” raises eyebrows. Even signs with the words “Merry Christmas” have been taken down or not displayed.
What’s happening? What’s so wrong with Christmas that all of this has started to emerge? Nothing.
It’s the political way of stopping a very joyous thing from happening. It’s the big honchos saying, “Oh, we don’t want to offend anyone.” It’s the big department stores saying, “Oh, it brings us big profits, but we don’t want to offend anyone with the real reason for our profits.” It’s the bigots and the hypocrites saying, “Let’s not offend anyone, so we’ll ban Christmas.”
Well, let me say something here. You just have offended someone! Me! And the 82% of other Americans who believe that Christmas is a celebration of the baby Jesus’ birth. Christmas is not about the presents, or the profits, or the million other things society has made Christmas into. Christmas is about the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. It’s about the journey that his mother, Mary, and Joseph took to Bethlehem. It’s about the little barn and manger. It’s about the star in Heaven and the angel that came to the shepherds who watched their flocks. It’s about the wise men who first visited the little baby Jesus. Most importantly of all it’s about the one act that God did for us. He gave us his only son.
Now, some of you may not agree with what I’m saying here. Some of you may not even celebrate Christmas because it’s not your religion. That’s ok. You’re in America, you have that right. And I have the right to celebrate Christmas. I also have the right to celebrate Christmas without persecution or restraint of freedom.
I was raised Catholic and I was taught to believe that God sees everything I do. Jesus died on the cross for me and God forgave our sins in his place. Mary was a sacred name to be repeated in prayer. The word God was not to be taken in vain. The story of the journey to Bethlehem was repeated over and over, until I could repeat it to everyone around me. The names of Jesus’ apostles were repeated until I had them memorized. But the most important thing that I had ever learned was that I was one of God’s children and Jesus loves me.
You may not have been raised Catholic, or Christian, or Buddhist, or whatever other religion there is out there. You may not even have a religion, and that’s ok. I have a right to celebrate Christmas. You have the right to celebrate and practice whatever religion is native to you.
That phrase keeps coming back to me from Catechism, “God sees everything you do.” I wonder, how much will He take before enough is enough? We’re already trying to take Him out of our schools, out of our Pledge, out of our public places. How much will He take? How much until He turns a shoulder on us, like we have on Him? And now we’re trying to take away the birthday of His only son? How much until He says, “Ok, I wash my hands of you.”? How much?
All I’m asking for is my Christmas. My chance to celebrate the birth of the man who saved me from my sins. To celebrate the mother who brought him into this world. To sing the songs for him. To remember him.
I’ve heard lately that this is changing, shifting right under our own noses. Christmas carols have been banned from being sung, decorations have not been put up, and wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” raises eyebrows. Even signs with the words “Merry Christmas” have been taken down or not displayed.
What’s happening? What’s so wrong with Christmas that all of this has started to emerge? Nothing.
It’s the political way of stopping a very joyous thing from happening. It’s the big honchos saying, “Oh, we don’t want to offend anyone.” It’s the big department stores saying, “Oh, it brings us big profits, but we don’t want to offend anyone with the real reason for our profits.” It’s the bigots and the hypocrites saying, “Let’s not offend anyone, so we’ll ban Christmas.”
Well, let me say something here. You just have offended someone! Me! And the 82% of other Americans who believe that Christmas is a celebration of the baby Jesus’ birth. Christmas is not about the presents, or the profits, or the million other things society has made Christmas into. Christmas is about the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ. It’s about the journey that his mother, Mary, and Joseph took to Bethlehem. It’s about the little barn and manger. It’s about the star in Heaven and the angel that came to the shepherds who watched their flocks. It’s about the wise men who first visited the little baby Jesus. Most importantly of all it’s about the one act that God did for us. He gave us his only son.
Now, some of you may not agree with what I’m saying here. Some of you may not even celebrate Christmas because it’s not your religion. That’s ok. You’re in America, you have that right. And I have the right to celebrate Christmas. I also have the right to celebrate Christmas without persecution or restraint of freedom.
I was raised Catholic and I was taught to believe that God sees everything I do. Jesus died on the cross for me and God forgave our sins in his place. Mary was a sacred name to be repeated in prayer. The word God was not to be taken in vain. The story of the journey to Bethlehem was repeated over and over, until I could repeat it to everyone around me. The names of Jesus’ apostles were repeated until I had them memorized. But the most important thing that I had ever learned was that I was one of God’s children and Jesus loves me.
You may not have been raised Catholic, or Christian, or Buddhist, or whatever other religion there is out there. You may not even have a religion, and that’s ok. I have a right to celebrate Christmas. You have the right to celebrate and practice whatever religion is native to you.
That phrase keeps coming back to me from Catechism, “God sees everything you do.” I wonder, how much will He take before enough is enough? We’re already trying to take Him out of our schools, out of our Pledge, out of our public places. How much will He take? How much until He turns a shoulder on us, like we have on Him? And now we’re trying to take away the birthday of His only son? How much until He says, “Ok, I wash my hands of you.”? How much?
All I’m asking for is my Christmas. My chance to celebrate the birth of the man who saved me from my sins. To celebrate the mother who brought him into this world. To sing the songs for him. To remember him.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Taking the Christmas out of Christmas Tree?
There's a new buzz going around about some cities around the US taking the word Christmas out of Christmas Tree. This harkens back to the time when the word Xmas starting popping up all over the place. They're calling them "Holiday Trees".
You know, it just doesn't have the same ring to it. It smacks of religious indignation. It's like taking "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance. Are we going to take that phrase off of our money, too?
Taking Christmas out of the phrase Christmas tree is defaming and demeaning. Would it be right to call a menorah a candlestick? It's not right and it offends the people who the religion applies to.
I'm a Catholic, not particularly practicing, but I was raised Catholic and I believe in God and Christ and Jesus dying on the cross for me and everyone else. Christmas is not a time of presents and gifts, and getting everything that is on your list for Christmas. It's about Jesus and the Christ child and Mary and Joseph, taking that long walk to Bethlehem. It's about the three wisemen and the manger. The star in the sky and the angel looking down upon little baby Jesus. It's about family and friends and the celebration of a birthday. Christ's birthday.
Too little time is spent now a days on the fact that Christmas is not about presents and what is on the list. Christmas should be about waking up on Christmas morning with family and friends surrounding you, not about what's under the tree.
The fad today seems to be making everything general to cover all people of the world. Like taking the Christmas out of Christmas tree and "under God" out of the Pledge. It's all to appease everyone and make sure that no one gets offended by these things. Well, what happens when the simple act of taking those phrases out offends not just one person but a whole group of people? So much so that there is retaliation? I say it's worked for hundreds of years, and to change it now would be blasphemy.
It's not about presents and what's under the tree, it's about the reason for Christmas: Christ. And the fact that Christmas is on a Sunday this year, well, it's carries a little more weight for some reason. I just have one question: How much will He take until enough is enough?
You know, it just doesn't have the same ring to it. It smacks of religious indignation. It's like taking "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance. Are we going to take that phrase off of our money, too?
Taking Christmas out of the phrase Christmas tree is defaming and demeaning. Would it be right to call a menorah a candlestick? It's not right and it offends the people who the religion applies to.
I'm a Catholic, not particularly practicing, but I was raised Catholic and I believe in God and Christ and Jesus dying on the cross for me and everyone else. Christmas is not a time of presents and gifts, and getting everything that is on your list for Christmas. It's about Jesus and the Christ child and Mary and Joseph, taking that long walk to Bethlehem. It's about the three wisemen and the manger. The star in the sky and the angel looking down upon little baby Jesus. It's about family and friends and the celebration of a birthday. Christ's birthday.
Too little time is spent now a days on the fact that Christmas is not about presents and what is on the list. Christmas should be about waking up on Christmas morning with family and friends surrounding you, not about what's under the tree.
The fad today seems to be making everything general to cover all people of the world. Like taking the Christmas out of Christmas tree and "under God" out of the Pledge. It's all to appease everyone and make sure that no one gets offended by these things. Well, what happens when the simple act of taking those phrases out offends not just one person but a whole group of people? So much so that there is retaliation? I say it's worked for hundreds of years, and to change it now would be blasphemy.
It's not about presents and what's under the tree, it's about the reason for Christmas: Christ. And the fact that Christmas is on a Sunday this year, well, it's carries a little more weight for some reason. I just have one question: How much will He take until enough is enough?
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Feeling a little beat and broken...
It's been a rough couple of weeks with Finals for the semester coming up and tons of group projects piling up, so I'm ready for Thanksgiving break which starts Wednesday. Then it's back to the grind with Finals around the corner and the semester drawing to a close, but the universe sees fit to throw a monkey wrench into the mix. I will be on an outbound plane to Phoenix two days before Christmas to visit with my Mom and stepdad who is suffering from brain tumors. We're not sure of his outcome from this, don't know how long he'll be with us, so we're trying to get together before it's too late. I just feel helpless, though. When you're dealing with something like this, where the unknown is simply the norm, it's hard to keep the positive thoughts in your head. The what ifs start piling in and before you know it you're blaming the doctors. Then something new comes up and you're given a little bit of hope just to have it dashed to the floor even before you really had a chance to grasp what the possibility is. My Mom's having a real rough time with this and I feel so helpless for her. I can't take her pain away and I hate having her suffer this. They've only been married for a little over a year and that's not enough time to love someone. But she just counts the days she has him. It's so unfair. I know that sounds like a petulant child but it's not fair. A year? That's not enough time.
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